Self-confidence

The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
   
Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said. After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you."
   
He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time." The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!
   
"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the un-cashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
   
With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
   
One year later, he returned to the park with the un-cashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.
   
"I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the home and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller."And she led the old man away.
   
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.
   
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.

Perfect means ‘no change’

Knowledge means without any mistake. Anything without any mistake is perpetually right. And anything based on mistaken idea will change. You have to correct the mistake. One scientist is putting forward one theory—after a few years this theory is changed. Another person will say, "Now here is the perfect." After ten years, another will come," No, that is not perfect. This is perfect." This is going on. They take it as advancement in research, but actually the knowledge is imperfect. Otherwise, what is the necessity of research and advancement? They do not know what is the end of advancement. Therefore all their knowledge is imperfect. Imperfect knowledge is that as soon as he comes to the imperfect point, "yes, we are trying." Trying means still knowledge is imperfect. Now we have to accept knowledge from Vedas without change. We do not say, "Five thousand years ago Krishna said like this. Now we are advanced. We change this line." You cannot do that. If you change the word of the scripture, then where is the authority of the scripture? So as soon as you change, that means it is imperfect. Five thousand years ago Krishna said, "You give up all other religious principles. Simply surrender unto Me."[Bg. 18.66]  We are preaching the same thing. One who is very experienced medical practitioner, he gives you a prescription; you visit him again and again, he gives you the same prescription unless you are cured. He doesn't change. He knows, "This is the disease, and ultimately this medicine will cure. So let him repeat that medicine." But a non-experienced physician, every time you go, he will change the prescription. We follow no change policy. Not that I think I have become advanced so, I change this to that.

Freedom from hankering, lamentation and fear

The grace of the Lord is abhaya, free from fearfulness. The benediction of the Lord is never to be lost. It is simply to be enjoyed. One simply gains and enjoys gaining. Bhagavad-gita also confirms this: when one achieves the grace of the Lord, the result is that all distresses are destroyed. When situated in the transcendental position, one is freed from the two kinds of material diseases—hankering and lamentation. Lamentation is for loss, and hankering is for gain. Hankering means, “I have no money, but if I get a million dollars, then I'll be happy." And when we have a million dollars, somehow it will be lost. So lamentation, "Oh, I have lost it!" So both hankering and lamentation are distresses. If someone accumulates a million dollars, he is always full of fear thinking, "What if the money is lost?" When one is situated in his own spiritual consciousness, then he will have no hankering and no lamentation. If we know that Krishna is the source and proprietor of the entire material energy, we understand that everything belongs to Him and that anything gained is given by Him for His service. Thus we do not hanker for the things of this world. Furthermore, if something is taken away by Krishna, then what is the need for lamentation? We should think, "Krishna wanted to take it away from me. Therefore, why should I lament? The Supreme Lord is the cause of all causes. He takes away, He also gives." When one is thus in full knowledge, there is no more lamentation and no more hankering. That is the spiritual platform. This is the best education, by which you become anxiety-less. That is perfection of education. 

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging

A great football coach once said,” Just because you’re doing something wrong, doing it more intensely won’t help.”

Yet, how often do we do just that? We are making a mistake, getting ourselves into trouble – and, instead of backing off, reflecting, and doing it differently, we roll up our sleeves and do the very same thing even more intensely!

The same pattern exists in many areas of our lives. Many people have a great deal of conflict to manage. Whenever a potential new conflict arises, or the environment or circumstances seem to be encouraging that development, instead of backing off and looking  for new ways to defuse the situation, they charge straight ahead, as always – repeating their identical patterns and responses, taking the adversarial approach – and, once again, find themselves in the middle of another drama or conflict. Then, frustrated and stressed, they assume the world is to blame, or that they need to find more effective and more aggressive ways to deal with things. This is the essence of being in a vicious circle. The same essential problems come up over and over again, unless and until you see your own contribution – and vow to do something differently.

The solution is simple, but not always very easy. The trick is to recognize when your part of the pattern is being repeated; for example, “Here I am, arguing again,” or “I’m upset by the very same things – this sure feels familiar.” Then, rather than clenching your fists, feeling frustrated, filing your mind with stressful thoughts, and trying the same old thing, you instead relax, back off, and empty your mind. Soften and try to see the situation in a whole new way. 

What is that joyfulness?

People think, "I can enjoy this material world very nicely. Everyone is having such a good time. There is no reason I can't enjoy myself as much as they." This idea is illusion because there is no real enjoyment in the material world. We may be very good-looking, famous, well educated, wealthy and powerful, and we may have a very beautiful wife and children and hold the highest position in the country—but at any moment we are subject to be shot down. This is the nature of this world. There is no question of having pleasure without impediments. Even when the pleasures are earned after a great deal of struggle and sacrifice, they are temporary. In this material world there is no pleasure that can give us constant and unending enjoyment. One has to understand he is not the material body. Then one immediately becomes joyful. Just like if you are implicated in some undesirable affair and your lawyer advises, "Oh, you are free from this implication. The law does not bind you," you feel pleasure, "Oh, I'm free from this implication?" "Yes," similarly, as soon as one is convinced that "I am not this material body," then immediately he becomes joyful. What is that joyfulness? There is no hankering, no lamentation. Only Krishna can give us that. Therefore Krishna instructs in Bhagavad-gita that it is the welfare of every living entity to give up this material activity and just surrender unto Him, He will give protection from all sinful reactions. Unfortunately, people are so attracted by the glitter of material nature that they cannot do it. People always fear that by surrendering to Krishna they will lose something but Krishna is so kind that if He takes anything away, He will reward us a thousand-fold. 

Be willing to take advice

Once upon a time, there were three people who went to watch drama together. One of them was far-sighted, another one had a hearing problem, and the other had a twisted head.

After the show, they were judging the drama.

“Today’s show had great singers, but the costume design was poor,” said the person who had farsightedness.

“The costume was perfect, but the sound was too low,” said the person who had hearing problem.

“The sound was loud and the costume was fine. Everything was great, but the performance stage was lopsided,” said the person who had twisted head.

From the story above, most people do not admit their shortcomings. It’s because the person, who had farsightedness, cannot see things in clarity, but complains about the costume; the one, who had hearing problem, cannot hear things clearly, but complains about the music; the one, who doesn’t admit his twisted head, but complains about the performance stage.
   
According to statistics, the vocabulary most often used in our daily communication is either “I” or “me”. Aren't conflicts among human and disputes among nations, the results of over-emphasizing one's opinion?

Accept sincere advice and the reality of truth given by others. One who is willing to take advice and relinquish one’s ego can work well with others. 

What is Maturity?

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction.

Maturity is to have patience.

Maturity is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of the long-term gain.

Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging set-backs.

Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, "I was wrong." And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so."

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spend their lives exploring endless possibilities; then they do nothing.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed -- and the wisdom to know the difference.

Why do you need a guru?

People generally go to guru, "Sir, I have got some pain. Give me some ashirvad so that my pain may be cured." "But why you have come here for curing your pain? You can go to some doctor, or you can take some tablet. Is it the purpose of coming to guru?" But generally they come to guru and ask for blessing for some material benefit. It is not the guru's task to supply gold and medicine. Not that "I have got some pain here, I have some trouble or some..." These are not problems. This problem one should tolerate. They do not know what is the problem of life and why go to guru. And the so-called gurus also take advantage of this ignorance of the public. The guru does not know what is his responsibility, and the public do not know what for one should go to guru. This is the difficulty. You should be intelligent. Why do you accept so many cheaters as guru? First of all you know what is the subject matter of knowledge. Just like if you want to become a carpenter, you should go to an expert carpenter. If you want to be a medical man, you must approach the medical college. So first of all, you do not know what you want. Therefore you get so many cheaters. You do not know what is the aim of human life. To be happy? You do not know what is happiness. Your happiness is that you do not like to die: but you die. You do not like to become old man: you become old. This is unhappiness. Intelligence is that "I do not want death. Why death comes upon me?" This knowledge will lead you to understand what is happiness.

Be a good listener

A slight improvement in our listening skills can pay enormous dividends in the way of better relationships, enhanced performance, and yes, even stress reduction!

Take a moment to reflect on your own listening skills. Do you truly listen to your colleagues? Do you let them finish their thoughts before you take your turn? Do you sometimes finish sentences for other people? In meetings, are you patient and responsive – or are you impatient and reactive? Do you allow words from others to sink in, or do you assume you know what the person is trying to say, so you jump in?

There are a variety of reasons why effective listening is very important. First of all, people who listen well are highly respected and sought after. Truly great listeners are so rare that when you are around one, it feels good, it makes you feel special.

Good listeners are easy to be around, so, quite naturally, you want to reach out and help them. Therefore, when you become a better listener, there will probably be plenty of people in your corner to offer assistance. People tend to be loyal to good listeners because they feel acknowledged and respected.

Effective listening helps you to understand what people are saying the first time they say it, thus allowing you to avoid a great number of mistake and misinterpretations which, as you know, can be very stressful. If you ask people what frustrates them and makes them angry,  many will tell you that “not being listened to” is right near the top of their lists so, being more attentive to what others are saying also helps you avoid many, if not most, interpersonal conflicts. 

Identity Crisis

Everyone is seeking a common factor they can share with others of a similar mindset and in this way experience a sense of identity. The inherent problem in today’s modern society is that our identities are being defined by the body and mind. We live in a culture where our identity is established by the flesh we belong to, but since that changes at every moment our identity changes along with it, and therefore people do not actually know who they really are. They cannot fix their identity. They don’t have an anchor in life – a foundation that does not change. Someone might say I have my name, that doesn’t change, so I’ll just hang on to that. Or a 60 year old woman may relate to herself as a 19 year old, deluding herself that she is still attractive (at least in front of a mirror). These “identities” are products of illusion borne from identifying with the material energy and not the spirit soul.

We all need a constant in our lives, a value or a standard that does not change. The modern notion that knowledge develops and evolves as we gather more and more information (which ironically keeps proving the current ideas wrong), is a symptom of a lack of foundational knowledge.

Truth does not change. It’s either true, or it isn’t. Take reincarnation for instance. It is not a matter of whether or not we believe in it. Either reincarnation is a fact or it isn’t a fact. It doesn’t become “true” only when one accepts it as fact. It is always a fact. Or like the scientific “discovery” of planets. The planets existed before the scientist came along. They existed before, without anyone’s knowledge – they were simply unseen by our limited sense perception. So it is not knowledge that evolved; it will also remain true in the future. Only such truth is knowledge worth pursuing. Relative knowledge may have its use for making technology and consumer gadgets, but it is useless when it comes to solving the existential problems and mysteries of life.

There is only one platform that all living entities can unite round, and that is the Supreme factor. While we all operate from different platforms, conflicts of interest and egos will continue. If, however we can believe that we are all parts of the same whole – Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead – then we can also believe and understand that we are all brothers and sisters coming from the same father, the same origin – Krishna.

No matter how much one country thinks it is more sophisticated and advanced than others, while the bullying and squabbling for area and resources continues, it is simply a tribal mentality. The White House, Iraq, and Kazakhstan are behaving from a fundamentally tribal mentality as much as tribes in the remote jungles of Africa or Asia. Ego-driven constant competition between individuals or groups – be it in Swahili land or Wall Street- will never bring all beings together in harmony. Nor will wearing the same clothes or using the same consumer gadgets bring anyone together in peace. And as Krishna says in the Bhagavad-Gita, how can there be happiness without peace? There is a lot of talk about finding oneself, and getting together in peace and harmony, and saving this land, or saving that species. In fact, a whole industry has sprung up; giving the disenchanted a forum to spill their hearts out on different TV and radio shows, but no one seems able yet to have come up with a solution to the problem of how to counteract the miseries of the world. Not even those smart TV anchors or radio jockeys.

The weekly magazines are full of colorful reports on the successful people, the celebrities, who enjoy their senses to the max, but on the other hand are having so many problems with broken relationships, drugs, suicide, alcohol, family troubles, unwanted pregnancies, etc. The list is endless. In other words, same problems that any common man has. Worrying about paying the rent is just that: a worry. If we worry about our unpaid Rs. 50000/month rent, rather than our unpaid Rs. 1000/month rent, all we’ve succeeded in doing is upgrading the misery and worry. Material qualities of life such as wealth and fame can be improved, expanded, and polished, but the basic experience of suffering and enjoyment is the same for everyone regardless of their material status in life.

The only solution to the problems of understanding our identity and acting on a commonly beneficial platform is to accept divinely inspired knowledge descending from Krishna, and which furthermore has been recorded and transcribed in the Vedic Scriptures, the most comprehensive body of knowledge known to mankind. The essence of that great body of knowledge has been delivered and made accessible to the people of this fallen age by Srila Prabhupada, who comes in the ancient disciplic succession from Krishna Himself.

Anything else is temporary, no matter how alluring it may be, and as long as it is temporary it can not give satisfaction to the soul. The only way to satisfy the soul is to connect it to the supreme soul, Krishna, through the method of Bhakti.