One day I will be happy…

Sadly, many of us keep convincing ourselves, “Someday I’ll be happy.” We tell ourselves ‘I’ll behappy when I will be a president, when I will be doing so and so service, get a particular mobile phone’ etc. We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, then another, then another, on and on and on we go with our wish list.

Meanwhile, life keeps moving forward. The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide tobe happy anyway.

A wise man said, “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished invention, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

A low mood is not the time to analyze your life

In low moods we lose our perspective and everything seems urgent. We completely forget that when we are in a good mood, everything seems so much better. We experience the identical circumstances – who we are married to, where we work, the car we drive, our potential, our childhood – entirely differently, depending on our mood!

When we are low, rather than blaming our mood as would be appropriate, we instead tend to feel that our whole life is wrong. It’s almost as if we actually believe that our lives have fallen apart in the past hour or two.

The truth is, life is almost never as bad as it seems when you’re in a low mood. Rather than staying stuck in a bad temper, convinced you are seeing life realistically, you can learn to question your judgment. Remind yourself, “of course I’m feeling defensive (or angry, frustrated, stressed, depressed); I’m in a bad mood. I always feel negative when I’m low”.

When you’re in an ill mood, learn to pass it off as simply that: an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time, if you leave it alone. A low mood is not the time to analyze your life. To do so is emotional suicide. If you have a legitimate problem, it will still be there when your state of mind improves.

The trick is to be grateful for our good moods and graceful in our low moods not taking them too seriously.

The next time you feel low, for whatever reason, remind yourself, “This too shall pass.” It will.

Practice humility – Do not try to prove yourself to others

Humility and inner peace go hand in hand. The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peaceful inside.

Proving yourself is a dangerous trap. It takes an enormous amount of energy to be continually pointing out your accomplishments, bragging, or trying to convince others of your worth as a human being. Pride and arrogance actually dilutes the positive feelings you receive from an accomplishment or something you are proud of. To make matters worse, the more you try to prove yourself, the more others will avoid you, talk behind your back about your insecure need to boast, and perhaps even dislike you.

Ironically, however, the less you care about seeking approval, the more approval you seem to get. People are drawn to those with a quiet, inner confidence, people who don’t need to make themselves look good, be “right” all the time, or steal the glory.

Most people love a person who doesn’t need to show-off, a person who shares from his or her heart and not from his or her ego.

Be willing to learn

Many of us are reluctant to learn from the people closest to us—our authorities, colleagues, staff and friends. Rather than being open to learning, we close ourselves off out of embarrassment, fear, stubbornness, or pride. It's almost as if we say to ourselves, "I have already learned all that I can [or want to learn] from this person; there is nothing else I can [or need to] learn."

It's sad, because often the people closest to us know us the best. They are sometimes able to see ways in which we are acting in a self-defeating manner and can offer very simple solutions. If we are too proud or stubborn to learn, we lose out on some wonderful, simple ways to improve our lives.

Remain open to the suggestions of your authorities and other devotees. Ask senior devotees and authorities, "What are some of my blind spots?" By this simple process you end up getting some good advice. It's such a simple shortcut for growth, yet almost no one uses it. All it takes is a little courage and humility, and the ability to let go of your ego. This is especially true if you are in the habit of ignoring suggestions, taking them as criticism.

Pick something that you feel the person whom you are asking is qualified to answer. Sometimes the advice we get usually prevents us from having to learn something the hard way.

We simply wait for our chance to speak

If you observe the conversations around you, you’ll notice that, often, what many of us do is simply wait for our chance to speak. We’re not really listening to the other person, but simply waiting for an opening to express our own view. We often complete other people’s sentences, or say things like, “Yeah, yeah,” or “I know,” very rapidly, urging them to hurry up so that we can have our turn.

This harried form of communication encourages us to criticize points of view, overreact, misinterpret meaning, and form opinions, all before our fellow communicator is even finished speaking. No wonder we are so often annoyed, bothered, and irritated with one another. Sometimes, with our poor listening skills, it’s a miracle that we have any friends at all!

You’ll be pleasantly amazed at the softer reactions and looks of surprise as you let others completely finish their thought before you begin yours. Often, you will be allowing someone to feel listened to for the very first time. You will sense a feeling of relief coming from the person to whom you are speaking – and a much calmer, less rushed feeling between the two of you.

No need to worry that you won’t get your turn to speak --- you will. In fact, it will be more rewarding to speak because the person you are speaking to will pick up on your respect and patience and will begin to do the same.

Spend Half Day in a Graveyard

A physician gave some rather whimsical advice to a patient, an aggressive, go-getter type of businessman. Excitedly the businessman told the doctor what an enormous amount of work he had to do and that he had to get it done right away or else things will fall apart.

“I take my brief case home every night and it’s packed with work,” he said with nervous inflection.

“Why do you take work home with you at night?” the doctor asked quietly.

“I have to get it done,” he fumed.

“Can’t someone else do it, or help you with it?” asked the doctor.

“No,” the man snapped. “I am the only one who can do it. It must be done just right, and I alone can do it as it must be done, and it has to be done quickly. Everything depends upon me.”

“If I write a prescription, will you follow it?” asked the doctor.

This, believe it or not was the prescription. His patient was to take off half-day a week and spend that half-day in cemetery.

In astonishment the patient demanded, “Why should I spend a half-day in a cemetery?”

“Because,” answered the doctor, “I want you to wander around and look at the gravestones of men who are there permanently. I want you to meditate on the fact that many of them are there because they thought even as you do, that the whole world rested on their shoulders. Meditate on the fact that when you get there permanently the world will go on just the same &, as important as you are, others will be able to do the work you are now doing.”

The patient got the idea. He stopped fuming & fretting. He got peaceful and developed a more competent organization & his business is in better condition.

We get back what we give

A little boy got angry with his mother and shouted at her, "I hate you, I hate you." Because of fear of reprimand, he ran out of the house. He went up to the valley and shouted, "I hate you, I hate you," and the echo returned, "I hate you, I hate you."

Having never heard an echo before, he was scared, and ran to his mother for protection. He said there was a bad boy in the valley who shouted "I hate you, I hate you"

The mother understood and she asked her son to go back and shout, "I love you, I love you". The little boy went and shouted, "I love you, I love you," and back came the echo.

That taught the little boy a lesson: Our life is like an echo. We get back what we give.