Anxious about the future?

Once two villagers were sitting under a tree and watching the sunset. They were very close friends. After sitting quietly for some time, one asked the other, "What are you thinking?"

"I am planning to buy five acres of land, a garden." The other friend immediately said, "Don't buy the garden!"

The first one was surprised. He asked "why"? The second one replied, "I am planning to buy a buffalo. Then, my buffalo will enter your garden and we will fight, have misunderstandings and lose our friendship. I do not want to lose our friendship."

The first one said, "Then, you cancel your plan of buying a buffalo. I am going to buy my garden." The second one said, "No, no, no. I have already decided to buy a buffalo." The first one said, "How will your buffalo enter my garden? I will fence it thoroughly."

The second one said, "No, you see it can just enter; a buffalo is a buffalo. Who can stop it? It can do anything."

They started fighting. The fight went to such an extent that they broke their limbs! Neither has bought buffalo nor any land.

Nothing has happened. Just the mind’s race and both of them broke their limbs over it!

Our fears are also like that. The future has not yet come. But you just sit there and think, "Oh! What will happen? This will happen. That will happen."

Many times our minds are filled with anxiety about the future! In this run, the mind gets into such a mess.

Don’t be over anxious about the future.

Tax Structure in India.... Funny But True...

Question 1.. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory...
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Service / (s)?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
Ans :: Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax !!!

The Art of Appraisal

Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your rating is "average".

Kumar: What? How come 'average'?

Big Boss: Because...err. ..uhh...you lack domain knowledge.

Kumar: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant.

Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded this year.

Kumar: What???

Big Boss: Yes, I didn't see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain.

Kumar: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing.

Big Boss: This is what I don't like about you. You give excuse for everything.

Kumar: Huh? *Confused*

Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills.

Kumar: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on "Business Communication" , you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember?

Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr...well. .I mean, you need to improve your Social Pragmatic Affirmative Communication.

Kumar: Huh? What the hell is that? *Confused*

Big Boss: See! That's why you need to learn about it.

Kumar: *head spinning*

Big Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys you recruited left within 2 months.

Kumar: Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and review their code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them even attempted suicide.

Big Boss:*stunned* (recovers from shock) Err...anyway, I tried to give you a better rating, but our Normalization process gave you only 'average'.

Kumar: Last year that process gave me 'excellent'. This year just 'average'? Why is this process pushing me up and down every year?

Big Boss: That's a complicated process. You don't want to hear.

Kumar: I'll try to understand. Go ahead.

Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of sub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets 'average', whichever lands on table gets 'good', whichever we manage to catch gets 'excellent' and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets 'outstanding' .

Kumar: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets 'poor' rating?

Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down.

Kumar: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for 'outstanding' ?

Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational process!

Kumar: *faints*