People generally go to guru, "Sir, I have got some pain. Give me some ashirvad so that my pain may be cured." "But why you have come here for curing your pain? You can go to some doctor, or you can take some tablet. Is it the purpose of coming to guru?" But generally they come to guru and ask for blessing for some material benefit. It is not the guru's task to supply gold and medicine. Not that "I have got some pain here, I have some trouble or some..." These are not problems. This problem one should tolerate. They do not know what is the problem of life and why go to guru. And the so-called gurus also take advantage of this ignorance of the public. The guru does not know what is his responsibility, and the public do not know what for one should go to guru. This is the difficulty. You should be intelligent. Why do you accept so many cheaters as guru? First of all you know what is the subject matter of knowledge. Just like if you want to become a carpenter, you should go to an expert carpenter. If you want to be a medical man, you must approach the medical college. So first of all, you do not know what you want. Therefore you get so many cheaters. You do not know what is the aim of human life. To be happy? You do not know what is happiness. Your happiness is that you do not like to die: but you die. You do not like to become old man: you become old. This is unhappiness. Intelligence is that "I do not want death. Why death comes upon me?" This knowledge will lead you to understand what is happiness.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Be a good listener
A slight improvement in our listening skills can pay enormous dividends in the way of better relationships, enhanced performance, and yes, even stress reduction!
Take a moment to reflect on your own listening skills. Do you truly listen to your colleagues? Do you let them finish their thoughts before you take your turn? Do you sometimes finish sentences for other people? In meetings, are you patient and responsive – or are you impatient and reactive? Do you allow words from others to sink in, or do you assume you know what the person is trying to say, so you jump in?
There are a variety of reasons why effective listening is very important. First of all, people who listen well are highly respected and sought after. Truly great listeners are so rare that when you are around one, it feels good, it makes you feel special.
Good listeners are easy to be around, so, quite naturally, you want to reach out and help them. Therefore, when you become a better listener, there will probably be plenty of people in your corner to offer assistance. People tend to be loyal to good listeners because they feel acknowledged and respected.
Effective listening helps you to understand what people are saying the first time they say it, thus allowing you to avoid a great number of mistake and misinterpretations which, as you know, can be very stressful. If you ask people what frustrates them and makes them angry, many will tell you that “not being listened to” is right near the top of their lists so, being more attentive to what others are saying also helps you avoid many, if not most, interpersonal conflicts.
Take a moment to reflect on your own listening skills. Do you truly listen to your colleagues? Do you let them finish their thoughts before you take your turn? Do you sometimes finish sentences for other people? In meetings, are you patient and responsive – or are you impatient and reactive? Do you allow words from others to sink in, or do you assume you know what the person is trying to say, so you jump in?
There are a variety of reasons why effective listening is very important. First of all, people who listen well are highly respected and sought after. Truly great listeners are so rare that when you are around one, it feels good, it makes you feel special.
Good listeners are easy to be around, so, quite naturally, you want to reach out and help them. Therefore, when you become a better listener, there will probably be plenty of people in your corner to offer assistance. People tend to be loyal to good listeners because they feel acknowledged and respected.
Effective listening helps you to understand what people are saying the first time they say it, thus allowing you to avoid a great number of mistake and misinterpretations which, as you know, can be very stressful. If you ask people what frustrates them and makes them angry, many will tell you that “not being listened to” is right near the top of their lists so, being more attentive to what others are saying also helps you avoid many, if not most, interpersonal conflicts.
Identity Crisis
Everyone is seeking a common factor they can share with others of a similar mindset and in this way experience a sense of identity. The inherent problem in today’s modern society is that our identities are being defined by the body and mind. We live in a culture where our identity is established by the flesh we belong to, but since that changes at every moment our identity changes along with it, and therefore people do not actually know who they really are. They cannot fix their identity. They don’t have an anchor in life – a foundation that does not change. Someone might say I have my name, that doesn’t change, so I’ll just hang on to that. Or a 60 year old woman may relate to herself as a 19 year old, deluding herself that she is still attractive (at least in front of a mirror). These “identities” are products of illusion borne from identifying with the material energy and not the spirit soul.
We all need a constant in our lives, a value or a standard that does not change. The modern notion that knowledge develops and evolves as we gather more and more information (which ironically keeps proving the current ideas wrong), is a symptom of a lack of foundational knowledge.
Truth does not change. It’s either true, or it isn’t. Take reincarnation for instance. It is not a matter of whether or not we believe in it. Either reincarnation is a fact or it isn’t a fact. It doesn’t become “true” only when one accepts it as fact. It is always a fact. Or like the scientific “discovery” of planets. The planets existed before the scientist came along. They existed before, without anyone’s knowledge – they were simply unseen by our limited sense perception. So it is not knowledge that evolved; it will also remain true in the future. Only such truth is knowledge worth pursuing. Relative knowledge may have its use for making technology and consumer gadgets, but it is useless when it comes to solving the existential problems and mysteries of life.
There is only one platform that all living entities can unite round, and that is the Supreme factor. While we all operate from different platforms, conflicts of interest and egos will continue. If, however we can believe that we are all parts of the same whole – Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead – then we can also believe and understand that we are all brothers and sisters coming from the same father, the same origin – Krishna.
No matter how much one country thinks it is more sophisticated and advanced than others, while the bullying and squabbling for area and resources continues, it is simply a tribal mentality. The White House, Iraq, and Kazakhstan are behaving from a fundamentally tribal mentality as much as tribes in the remote jungles of Africa or Asia. Ego-driven constant competition between individuals or groups – be it in Swahili land or Wall Street- will never bring all beings together in harmony. Nor will wearing the same clothes or using the same consumer gadgets bring anyone together in peace. And as Krishna says in the Bhagavad-Gita, how can there be happiness without peace? There is a lot of talk about finding oneself, and getting together in peace and harmony, and saving this land, or saving that species. In fact, a whole industry has sprung up; giving the disenchanted a forum to spill their hearts out on different TV and radio shows, but no one seems able yet to have come up with a solution to the problem of how to counteract the miseries of the world. Not even those smart TV anchors or radio jockeys.
The weekly magazines are full of colorful reports on the successful people, the celebrities, who enjoy their senses to the max, but on the other hand are having so many problems with broken relationships, drugs, suicide, alcohol, family troubles, unwanted pregnancies, etc. The list is endless. In other words, same problems that any common man has. Worrying about paying the rent is just that: a worry. If we worry about our unpaid Rs. 50000/month rent, rather than our unpaid Rs. 1000/month rent, all we’ve succeeded in doing is upgrading the misery and worry. Material qualities of life such as wealth and fame can be improved, expanded, and polished, but the basic experience of suffering and enjoyment is the same for everyone regardless of their material status in life.
The only solution to the problems of understanding our identity and acting on a commonly beneficial platform is to accept divinely inspired knowledge descending from Krishna, and which furthermore has been recorded and transcribed in the Vedic Scriptures, the most comprehensive body of knowledge known to mankind. The essence of that great body of knowledge has been delivered and made accessible to the people of this fallen age by Srila Prabhupada, who comes in the ancient disciplic succession from Krishna Himself.
Anything else is temporary, no matter how alluring it may be, and as long as it is temporary it can not give satisfaction to the soul. The only way to satisfy the soul is to connect it to the supreme soul, Krishna, through the method of Bhakti.
We all need a constant in our lives, a value or a standard that does not change. The modern notion that knowledge develops and evolves as we gather more and more information (which ironically keeps proving the current ideas wrong), is a symptom of a lack of foundational knowledge.
Truth does not change. It’s either true, or it isn’t. Take reincarnation for instance. It is not a matter of whether or not we believe in it. Either reincarnation is a fact or it isn’t a fact. It doesn’t become “true” only when one accepts it as fact. It is always a fact. Or like the scientific “discovery” of planets. The planets existed before the scientist came along. They existed before, without anyone’s knowledge – they were simply unseen by our limited sense perception. So it is not knowledge that evolved; it will also remain true in the future. Only such truth is knowledge worth pursuing. Relative knowledge may have its use for making technology and consumer gadgets, but it is useless when it comes to solving the existential problems and mysteries of life.
There is only one platform that all living entities can unite round, and that is the Supreme factor. While we all operate from different platforms, conflicts of interest and egos will continue. If, however we can believe that we are all parts of the same whole – Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead – then we can also believe and understand that we are all brothers and sisters coming from the same father, the same origin – Krishna.
No matter how much one country thinks it is more sophisticated and advanced than others, while the bullying and squabbling for area and resources continues, it is simply a tribal mentality. The White House, Iraq, and Kazakhstan are behaving from a fundamentally tribal mentality as much as tribes in the remote jungles of Africa or Asia. Ego-driven constant competition between individuals or groups – be it in Swahili land or Wall Street- will never bring all beings together in harmony. Nor will wearing the same clothes or using the same consumer gadgets bring anyone together in peace. And as Krishna says in the Bhagavad-Gita, how can there be happiness without peace? There is a lot of talk about finding oneself, and getting together in peace and harmony, and saving this land, or saving that species. In fact, a whole industry has sprung up; giving the disenchanted a forum to spill their hearts out on different TV and radio shows, but no one seems able yet to have come up with a solution to the problem of how to counteract the miseries of the world. Not even those smart TV anchors or radio jockeys.
The weekly magazines are full of colorful reports on the successful people, the celebrities, who enjoy their senses to the max, but on the other hand are having so many problems with broken relationships, drugs, suicide, alcohol, family troubles, unwanted pregnancies, etc. The list is endless. In other words, same problems that any common man has. Worrying about paying the rent is just that: a worry. If we worry about our unpaid Rs. 50000/month rent, rather than our unpaid Rs. 1000/month rent, all we’ve succeeded in doing is upgrading the misery and worry. Material qualities of life such as wealth and fame can be improved, expanded, and polished, but the basic experience of suffering and enjoyment is the same for everyone regardless of their material status in life.
The only solution to the problems of understanding our identity and acting on a commonly beneficial platform is to accept divinely inspired knowledge descending from Krishna, and which furthermore has been recorded and transcribed in the Vedic Scriptures, the most comprehensive body of knowledge known to mankind. The essence of that great body of knowledge has been delivered and made accessible to the people of this fallen age by Srila Prabhupada, who comes in the ancient disciplic succession from Krishna Himself.
Anything else is temporary, no matter how alluring it may be, and as long as it is temporary it can not give satisfaction to the soul. The only way to satisfy the soul is to connect it to the supreme soul, Krishna, through the method of Bhakti.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Power of Your Own Thoughts
It is important to know that there is a relationship between your thinking and the way you feel. It’s important to realize that you are constantly thinking. Don’t be fooled into believing that you are already aware of this fact! Think, for a moment, about your breathing. Until this moment, when you are reading this sentence, you had certainly lost sight of the fact that you were doing it. The truth is, unless you are out of breath, you simply forget that it’s occurring.
Thinking works in the same way. Because you’re always doing it, it’s easy to forget that it’s happening, and it becomes invisible to you. Unlike breathing, however, forgetting that you are thinking can cause some serious problems in your life, such as unhappiness, anger, inner conflicts, and stress. The reason this is true is that your thinking will always come back to you as a feeling.
Try getting angry without first having angry thoughts! Okay, now try feeling stressed out without first having stressful thoughts – or jealous without thoughts of jealousy. You can’t do it – it’s impossible. The truth is, in order to experience a feeling; you must first have a thought that produces that feeling.
Unhappiness doesn’t and can’t exist on its own. Unhappiness is the feeling that accompanies negative thinking about your life. In the absence of that thinking, the unhappiness, or stress, or jealousy, can’t exist. There is nothing to hold your negative feelings in place other than your own thinking. The next time you’re feeling upset, notice your thinking – it will be negative.
Remind yourself that it’s your thinking that is negative, not your life. This simple awareness will be the first step in putting you back on the path toward happiness. It takes practice, but you can get to the point where you treat your negative thoughts in much the same way you would treat flies at a picnic: You shoo them away and get on with your day.
Thinking works in the same way. Because you’re always doing it, it’s easy to forget that it’s happening, and it becomes invisible to you. Unlike breathing, however, forgetting that you are thinking can cause some serious problems in your life, such as unhappiness, anger, inner conflicts, and stress. The reason this is true is that your thinking will always come back to you as a feeling.
Try getting angry without first having angry thoughts! Okay, now try feeling stressed out without first having stressful thoughts – or jealous without thoughts of jealousy. You can’t do it – it’s impossible. The truth is, in order to experience a feeling; you must first have a thought that produces that feeling.
Unhappiness doesn’t and can’t exist on its own. Unhappiness is the feeling that accompanies negative thinking about your life. In the absence of that thinking, the unhappiness, or stress, or jealousy, can’t exist. There is nothing to hold your negative feelings in place other than your own thinking. The next time you’re feeling upset, notice your thinking – it will be negative.
Remind yourself that it’s your thinking that is negative, not your life. This simple awareness will be the first step in putting you back on the path toward happiness. It takes practice, but you can get to the point where you treat your negative thoughts in much the same way you would treat flies at a picnic: You shoo them away and get on with your day.
Seek first to understand and then be understood
Essentially, “seek first to understand” implies that you become more interested in understanding others and less in having other people understand you. It means mastering the idea that if you want quality, fulfilling communication that is nourishing to you and others; understanding others must come first.
When you understand where people are coming from, what they are trying to say, what’s important to them, and so forth, being understood flows naturally; it falls into place with virtually no effort. When you reverse this process, however (which is what most of us do most of the time), you are putting the cart before the horse.
When you try to be understood before you understand, the effort you exert will be felt by you and the person or people you are trying to reach. Communication will break down, and you may end up with a battle of two egos.
Seeking first to understand isn’t about who’s right or wrong. It is a philosophy of effective communication. When you practice this method you’ll notice that the people you communicate with will feel listened to, heard, and understood. This will translate into better and more loving relationships.
When you understand where people are coming from, what they are trying to say, what’s important to them, and so forth, being understood flows naturally; it falls into place with virtually no effort. When you reverse this process, however (which is what most of us do most of the time), you are putting the cart before the horse.
When you try to be understood before you understand, the effort you exert will be felt by you and the person or people you are trying to reach. Communication will break down, and you may end up with a battle of two egos.
Seeking first to understand isn’t about who’s right or wrong. It is a philosophy of effective communication. When you practice this method you’ll notice that the people you communicate with will feel listened to, heard, and understood. This will translate into better and more loving relationships.
Ignorance is no excuse
At present everyone is suffering due to ignorance, just as one contracts a disease out of ignorance. If one does not know hygienic principles, he will not know what will contaminate him. Therefore due to ignorance there is infection, and we suffer from disease. A criminal may say, "I did not know the law," but he will not be excused if he commits a crime. Ignorance is no excuse. Similarly, a child, not knowing that fire will burn, will touch the fire. The fire does not think, "This is a child, and he does not know I will burn." No, there is no excuse. Just as there are state laws, there are also stringent laws of nature, and these laws will act despite our ignorance of them. If we do something wrong out of ignorance, we must suffer. This is the law. Whether the law is a state law or a law of nature, we risk suffering if we break it.
The guru's business is to see that no human being suffers in this material world. No one can claim that he is not suffering. That is not possible. In this material world, there are three kinds of suffering. These are miseries arising from the material body and mind, from other living entities, and from the forces of nature.
The guru sees that suffering is due to ignorance, which is compared to darkness. How can one in darkness be saved? By light. The guru takes the torchlight of knowledge and presents it before the living entity enveloped in darkness. That knowledge relieves him from the sufferings of the darkness of ignorance.
The guru's business is to see that no human being suffers in this material world. No one can claim that he is not suffering. That is not possible. In this material world, there are three kinds of suffering. These are miseries arising from the material body and mind, from other living entities, and from the forces of nature.
The guru sees that suffering is due to ignorance, which is compared to darkness. How can one in darkness be saved? By light. The guru takes the torchlight of knowledge and presents it before the living entity enveloped in darkness. That knowledge relieves him from the sufferings of the darkness of ignorance.
True Religion
At the present moment, no one actually knows the meaning of religion. Religion means to abide by the laws of God, just as good citizenship means to abide by the laws of the government. Because no one has any understanding of God, no one knows the laws of God or the meaning of religion. This is the present status of people in today's society. They are forgetting religion, taking it to be a kind of faith. Faith may be blind faith. Faith is not the real description of religion. Religion means the laws given by God, and anyone who follows those laws is religious, whether a Christian, a Hindu, or a Muslim.
The religious system might have been misused, but that does not mean that religion should be avoided. Real religion should be taken. It does not mean that because religion has not been properly executed by the so-called priests, religion should be rejected. If my eye is giving me some trouble on account of a cataract, it does not mean that the eye should be plucked out. The cataract should be removed. That is Krishna consciousness.
The religious system might have been misused, but that does not mean that religion should be avoided. Real religion should be taken. It does not mean that because religion has not been properly executed by the so-called priests, religion should be rejected. If my eye is giving me some trouble on account of a cataract, it does not mean that the eye should be plucked out. The cataract should be removed. That is Krishna consciousness.
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