Echo effect or Mirror effect

What kind of friends do you have? What kind of employees? What kind of colleagues? So many times in life we get from others EXACTLY WHAT WE EXPECT!

In short the way we see people affects the way we treat them and the way we treat them affects the way they perform. This is called Pygmalion Effect (sometimes called the “echo effect” or the “mirror effect”).

Expectations can influence behavior: therefore, a manager may get better staff performance if he expects better performance. What we see reflected in many objects, situations, or persons are what we put there with our own expectations. We create images of how things should be, and if these images are believed, they become self fulfilling prophecies.

The feelings and tones which surround us can be changed if we work to change them by sending out the kind of signal we want reflected or echoed. We all have an audience of individuals and colleagues whose day, including their moods, feelings, and dispositions, will be influenced by the way we start it.

The Pygmalion Effect has met the test of scientific analysis.
• A study showed that experiments could raise the IQ scores of children, especially on verbal and information sub-tests, merely by expecting them to do well.
• A study showed that worker performance increased markedly when the supervisor of these workers was told that his group showed a special potential for their particular job.

Stop blaming others

Blaming has become extremely common in our culture. On a personal level, it has led us to believe that we are never completely responsible for our own actions, problems, or happiness. When we are in the habit of blaming others, we will blame others for our anger, frustration, depression, stress, and unhappiness.

In terms of personal happiness, you cannot be peaceful while at the same time blaming others. Surely there are times when other people and/or circumstances contribute to our problems, but it is we who must rise to the occasion and take responsibility for our own happiness.

As an experiment, notice what happens when you stop blaming others for anything and everything in your life. This doesn't mean you don't hold people accountable for their actions, but that you hold yourself accountable for your own happiness and for your reactions to other people and the circumstances around you.

Blaming others takes an enormous amount of mental energy. It's a "drag-me-down" mind-set that creates stress and disease. Blaming makes you feel powerless over your own life because your happiness is dependent on the actions and behavior of others, which you can't control.

When you stop blaming others, you will regain your sense of personal power. You will see yourself as a choice maker. You will know that when you are upset, you are playing a key role in the creation of your own feelings. This means that you can also play a key role in creating new, more positive feelings. Life is easier to manage when you stop blaming others.

Let us shape ourselves first

There was a millionaire who was bothered by severe eye pain. He consulted so many physicians and was getting his treatment done. He did not stop consulting galaxy of medical experts; he consumed heavy loads of drugs and underwent hundreds of injections.

But the ache persisted with great vigor than before. At last a monk who was supposed to be an expert in treating such patients was called for by the millionaire. The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he should concentrate only on green colors and not to fall his eyes on any other colors. The millionaire got together a group of painters and purchased barrels of green color and directed that every object his eye was likely to fall to be painted in green color just as the monk had directed.

When the monk came to visit him after few days, the millionaire's servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him since he was in red dress, lest their master not see any other color and his eye ache would come back.

Hearing this the monk laughed and said "If only you had purchased a pair of green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved these walls and trees and pots and all other articles and also could have saved a large share of his fortune. You cannot paint the world green!"

Let us change our vision and the world will appear accordingly. It is foolish to shape the world, let us shape ourselves first.

Let’s change our vision first..!!

The power of words

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

This story teaches two lessons:
1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.

Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words... it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.

Be willing to learn

Many of us are reluctant to learn from the people closest to us—our authorities, colleagues, staff and friends. Rather than being open to learning, we close ourselves off out of embarrassment, fear, stubbornness, or pride. It's almost as if we say to ourselves, "I have already learned all that I can [or want to learn] from this person; there is nothing else I can [or need to] learn."

It's sad, because often the people closest to us know us the best. They are sometimes able to see ways in which we are acting in a self-defeating manner and can offer very simple solutions. If we are too proud or stubborn to learn, we lose out on some wonderful, simple ways to improve our lives.

Remain open to the suggestions of your authorities and other devotees. Ask senior devotees and authorities, "What are some of my blind spots?" By this simple process you end up getting some good advice. It's such a simple shortcut for growth, yet almost no one uses it. All it takes is a little courage and humility, and the ability to let go of your ego. This is especially true if you are in the habit of ignoring suggestions, taking them as criticism.

Pick something that you feel the person whom you are asking is qualified to answer. Sometimes the advice we get usually prevents us from having to learn something the hard way.

Hear with an open mind

Nan-in, a Japanese master received a university professor who came to inquire about the Absolute Truth.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"

"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you the Absolute Truth unless you first empty your cup?"

Hence it’s very important when we hear or take association from seniors; we go with an empty cup and hear with an open mind, keeping aside our own opinions and speculations.

Actual fearlessness & freedom from all worries

Death was walking toward a city one morning and a man asked, "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to take 100 people." Death replied.

"That's horrible" the man said.

"That's the way it is." Death said. "That's what I do."

The man hurried to warn everyone he could about Death's plan.

As evening fell, he met Death again. "You told me you were going to take 100 people," the man said, "Why did 1,000 die?"

"I kept my word" Death responded. "I only took 100 people. Worry took the other...."

Worry is, and always will be, a fatal disease, for its beginning signals the end of faith. Worry intrudes on God's compassionate ability to provide & protect us. When we allow our problems to overshadow God's promises, we unknowingly, doom ourselves to defeat.

That was never part of God's eternal plans. Release the regrets of yesterday and refuse the fears of tomorrow.

Although the time factor is fearful to everyone, fear personified is afraid of the Supreme Lord, who is therefore known as abhaya, fearless. Taking shelter of the Supreme Lord brings actual fearlessness & freedom from all worries. - Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.9.21